These past couple of days has been really great. I’ve woken up to the sun shining through my window and I have really enjoyed having that to be the first thing I experience when I wake up. Last week, I dreaded waking up in fear of finding myself broken again. However, that hasn’t been the case as of late and I am so very glad.
This might be weird to say but I honestly believe that being broken is the biggest positive experience I have had in my life.
I’ve learned so much about my body, the people around me, I got put into a position where I could rebuild and repair relationships that has wavered for so long. There is no need for me to hold onto something that serves me nothing but pain. Sometimes it’s hard for us to see when we should walk away from something that once made us very happy. However, when we notice that it is changing us to something we are not and don’t want to be, that is when we need to step back and just let go. At first I was lost when it came to myself but now I can finally say that I’m okay. I find myself smiling more and other people in my life notices it too.
It also helps that one of my best friend has stayed with me through this hard time. She has honestly been by my side this entire time and I am forever thankful. It’s nice to have someone who will sit next to you and not say something when you’re at the weakest point of your life. Everyone needs a person who will be sit by their side and help them get back up again.
and why you should strive to be one
Since my ex-boyfriend and I broke up, I have found myself to be more open minded than before. I smile more, have conversations with strangers, and make a conscious effort to be more approachable. What I have learned so far about myself is that I really do not like to be surrounded by people who lack substance.
The more I talk to people the more I realize how a lot of us are guilty of showing off, judging one another, complaining about things that are so very irrelevant. Whether you want to admit it or not, you too get annoyed when the wifi is slow and you’re trying to post a picture on instragram of how much fun you’re having at the moment instead of actually putting your phone away and interacting with people.
I will be the first to say that of course I get excited when I see people liking what I post on any social media platform. It’s a confidence booster. However, when I really want to connect with someone, I don’t want to hear about how they spend countless hours binge watching a show on Netflix.
When I really want to connect with someone, I want to hear about their goals, where they want to travel, where they see themselves a year from now. These are the things that I find attractive in anyone I want to become a part of my life, whether it is as a friend or a partner. For the most part, when I say you should strive to be a person of substance, what I really mean is that you should find something that you are passionate about and work towards it.
Do me a favor and listen to this wine bottle will you? Go ahead and attempt where you have not gone before, do the things you have not done. Step out of your comfort zone, and find yourself. See what life has to offer and take every opportunity that comes your way.
People leave you out in the cold and get mad when you learn how to get warm by yourself.
It has almost been a week since my first break up with my very first boyfriend. It left me torn into pieces. For days I had tried to pick up the pieces to quickly glue them back altogether, in hopes to feel alright again. Unfortunately it is not that easy.
There will be days when it seems that the pain has fully vanished, days when I feel like I am finally done wallowing in my own pain. However, these days only exist when I am physically surrounded by my support system. Other times I am forced to spend an afternoon alone, and these are the moments I fear the most. I fear it because this is when I feel at my weakest. These are the times when I’m reminded that there is a gaping void in my life where the person used to be, and once again I am torn into pieces.
I am learning that sometimes it is okay to be broken. Strong walls are not build over night. It takes time to build a wall strong enough to hold through an earthquake and not collapse. For now it seems that I am experiencing an earthquake everyday while I am trying to rebuild myself piece by piece. I may lose a part of myself along the way but I am also gaining something worth even more, and that should be an incentive to keep fighting.
Losing someone is always going to be hard no matter the circumstances. Fortunate for us, it is only when we go through these heartbreaks and trials do we find ourselves stronger than before. It is only when we finally learn to get warm by ourselves, stand on our own feet, and hold our hands do we find peace within ourselves.