People leave you out in the cold and get mad when you learn how to get warm by yourself.
It has almost been a week since my first break up with my very first boyfriend. It left me torn into pieces. For days I had tried to pick up the pieces to quickly glue them back altogether, in hopes to feel alright again. Unfortunately it is not that easy.
There will be days when it seems that the pain has fully vanished, days when I feel like I am finally done wallowing in my own pain. However, these days only exist when I am physically surrounded by my support system. Other times I am forced to spend an afternoon alone, and these are the moments I fear the most. I fear it because this is when I feel at my weakest. These are the times when I’m reminded that there is a gaping void in my life where the person used to be, and once again I am torn into pieces.
I am learning that sometimes it is okay to be broken. Strong walls are not build over night. It takes time to build a wall strong enough to hold through an earthquake and not collapse. For now it seems that I am experiencing an earthquake everyday while I am trying to rebuild myself piece by piece. I may lose a part of myself along the way but I am also gaining something worth even more, and that should be an incentive to keep fighting.
Losing someone is always going to be hard no matter the circumstances. Fortunate for us, it is only when we go through these heartbreaks and trials do we find ourselves stronger than before. It is only when we finally learn to get warm by ourselves, stand on our own feet, and hold our hands do we find peace within ourselves.